| Work |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|11:03 am] |
Well…
Things have been a little tense around work lately, my art director’s been worried that our boss is going to let someone go. She’s actually had me start trying to learn Flash (I’m watching an instructional DVD for it right now,) to try and make me more valuable (I’ve been told I’m supposed to animate something for one of our websites and I haven’t even made it though the DVD yet, yikes.) There is one person here who’s been fairly new compared to the rest of us (although she’s been carrying quite a lot of work,) that my director was worried would be the one he’d let go.
Today she announced that she has a new job and is leaving…
This means 1) hopefully the threat of someone getting laid off is gone now. But 2) I’m probably now the least essential member of the graphics department. So if in the future he still decides to get rid of someone I’d probably be next in line. This also means 3) we’re all going to have a ton more work, and the assignments I most hated doing are going to start falling on me again. Meh, it was awfully nice having some seniority to pawn those things off on someone else (I feel like a bad person admitting it, she was an awfully good sport about it.)
Sooo, I feel really stressed out now. It’s sad having someone I liked leave. Aside from that it’s a weird mix of relief and extra stress.
It’s pretty cool I’m learning Flash though. I’m a bit intimidated that I’m trying to learn it entirely on my own with only a video to teach me though. I’m not the quickest learner. I think I’m gonna have to watch this thing about a dozen times before most of it sinks in. It seems like it won’t be so hard to figure out the actual program with other Adobe experience to build it on…but animating something intimidates the crap out of me.
Anyone here have Flash skills if I need someone to bounce questions off of? |
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| I think I woke up on the snarky side of the bed this morning…. |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|09:57 am] |
Hmm, so Shiela Dixon (Mayor of Baltimore) has been found guilty. I…can’t say I’m shocked there.
I mean coooommmmeee ooooooooon.
She admitted she did it. Her defense was ‘I thought those gift cards were meant for me.’ Seriously lady? I mean, really, seriously?? If they were all meant for one person, don’tcha think they woulda given you one gift card in a large amount? Not…FIFTY? Who the fuck gives 50 gift cards to one person? And isn’t it kinda, yanno, weird to give the mayor gift cards to places like Target and Best Buy?
And even if you really are stupid enough to mistake gifts for needy families as meant for yourself, doesn’t it seem a little, I dunno, sketchy to ACCEPT presents with direct monetary value when you’re the mayor? Might look a little like…bribery or something, don’tcha think? No common sense telling you that seems like a really bad idea??
Geeze.
I don’t actually wish anything especially bad on her or anything (although she clearly shouldn’t be the Mayor anymore.) I’m just baffled by the stupidity.
Totally switching topics, this morning I heard the following quote from The Governor of Utah.
“I don’t mind the gays. I had some over to my house 2 weeks ago. I just don’t want them shoving it down my throat all the time.”
Shoving it down your throat?
..That sounds like something that requires a little cooperation there. Are ya sure that’s the phrasing you meant? Hmm???
God I hate it when people say “the gays.” It makes it sound like we have our own country or something.
….
Sorry all my posts have gotten so one-topic lately. I need to make a post that doesn’t have the word ‘gay’ in it, heh. |
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| tanning salon |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|06:44 pm] |
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I'm really thinking of trying out a tanning salon! Anyone with experience? |
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| sometimes I wonder .. |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|05:45 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | *class 95* | ] |
As much as I can, I try to say this prayer before I start my work day:
Glorious St. Joseph,
model of all who devote their lives to labour,
obtain for me the grace to work in the spirit of penance in order thereby to atone for my many sins;
to work conscientiously, setting devotion to duty in preference to my own whims;
to work with thankfulness and joy,
deeming it an honour to employ and to develop by my labour the gifts I have received from God;
to work with order, peace, moderation, and patience, without ever shrinking from weariness and difficulties;
to work above all with a pure intention and with detachment from self,
having always before my eyes the hour of death and the accounting which I must then render of time ill spent,
of talents wasted, of good omitted, and of vain complacency in success,
which is so fatal to the work of God.
All for Jesus, all through Mary, all in imitation of you, O Patriarch Joseph!
This shall be my motto in life and in death,
Amen.
-Pope Pius X
Today, the highlighted words screamed at me ..
Sometimes, I feel the Catholic psyce and world view (yes, hermeneutic), is just so bent on being unhappy and so weary. It is all work work work work sacrifice sacrifice sacrifice suffering suffering suffering- we GLORY in loss and suffering and pain and sorrow - until we are FRIGHTENED of being happy.
Happiness and (self) indulgence are the ultimate sins! - we tell ourselves - and we go through LIFE totally AFRAID of dat "final reckoning" with that vision of an unforgiving and easily tipped "scales of justice" in front of our eyes.
Honestly, oftentimes I wish that I too can just go sing song sing alleluia clap hand and be done with it. There is much to be said for such firm belief and faith in a loving and giving God, instead of a punishing, unforgiving, dismissive and distant one.
So this shall be my Advent journey: I need to redefine my hermeneutic; perhaps even, heuristically (see this inane needdd for long drawn out painnn and suffering? *sigh*) - but once and for all.
Words of the day:
Hermeneutic
(hur-muh-NOO-tik, -NYOO-)
adjective
Interpretive or explanatory. Interpretive key (in one's approach to life or manner of discernment), general outlook or view,
Etymology
From Greek hermeneutikos (of interpreting), from hermeneuein (to interpret), from hermeneus (interpreter). After Hermes in Greek mythology, who served as a messenger and herald for other gods, and who himself was the god of eloquence, commerce, invention, cunning, and theft
Heuristic
(hyoo-ris-tik or, often, yoo)-
–adjective | 1. | serving to indicate or point out; stimulating interest as a means of furthering investigation. | | 2. | encouraging a person to learn, discover, understand, or solve problems on his or her own, as by experimenting, evaluating possible answers or solutions, or by trial and error: a heuristic teaching method. | | 3. | of, pertaining to, or based on experimentation, evaluation, or trial-and-error methods. | | 4. | Computers, Mathematics. pertaining to a trial-and-error method of problem solving used when an algorithmic approach is impractical. | –noun | 5. | a heuristic method of argument. | | 6. | the study of heuristic procedure. |
Etymology: 1815–25; < NL heuristicus, equiv. to Gk heur( ískein) to find out, discover + L -isticus -istic  |
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| thank you note |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|04:07 pm] |
I think we met not because we're meant to have a romantic relationship, even though I want that more than I ever wanted anything in this life. We met because I have lessons I need to learn and you have the experiences and the generosity to share them.
You know my initial thoughts on relationship. Since all men are destined to part either in this life or at the end of this life, I thought it's better I get used to being alone. That way, I'd spare myself the devastation of each loss, and spare someone else who fortunately or unfortunately love me similar pain.
I'd thought I'm used to the idea of living and dying alone. But having met you, I discovered that actually I do not want that. You made me see that I should not be afraid to love because I fear pain, that it's way better to love than not to love at all, that there's nothing to fear except fear itself.
Having fallen in love with you, I realized I do have within me the capacity to love. I know in time I could come to love another, perhaps not with the same intensity, but nonetheless as authentic.
Just being who you are, you made me questions my ideas on relationships, which I'd taken for granted as mine and not really thought through and internalized. You made me feel free because you made me feel everything is possible and nothing is off limits.
Just being who you are, you held up a mirror revealing to me who I am. There're dark sides which I didn't see before or saw but refused to acknowledge. There're bright sides which I couldn't see and had failed to celebrate. Whether dark or bright, these sides made up who I am and I need to claim ownership.
I know I've grown since I know you. I've changed, I believe for the better. I hope it was as good for you as it is for me.
I'm grateful. I would never forget you.
GY |
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| REVISES US HIV TREATMENT GUIDELINES |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|01:15 pm] |
- Earlier Treatment Recommended: For people who have never been on HIV meds before, starting treatment is now recommended at a CD4 count of 500 or less (up from 350 or less).
- Immediate Treatment Urged for Some: The guidelines note that some people should start HIV treatment no matter what their CD4 count is: Pregnant women, people with HIV-related kidney disease and people who have both HIV and hepatitis B and need to be treated for their hep B infection. (These exceptions were in the last version of the guidelines, too.)
- Is There Such a Thing as Starting Meds "Too Early"? The expert panel was split over whether people should begin HIV treatment at a CD4 count above 500. Half felt it was a good idea; the other half felt it was OK to consider it, but that a person should carefully weigh the pluses and minuses with their doctor first. (We'll go into detail about the potential good and bad points in an expert interview later this week.)
- What to Start With: There are now four specific regimens that are considered "preferred" for first-line treatment:
- Atripla
- Isentress and Truvada
- Norvir, Prezista and Truvada
- Norvir, Reyataz and Truvada
Non-preferred first-line regimens are now split into various lists ("alternative," "acceptable," etc.) that include brief explanations for why it may or may not be wise to try them.
- Kaletra Demoted: Kaletra has been removed from the list of "preferred" first-line HIV meds; it's now generally considered an "alternative" medication, mainly because it carries a heightened risk for gastrointestinal side effects and high lipid levels. That said, the twice-daily dose of Kaletra is still a recommended medication for HIV-positive pregnant women.
See more at guidelines summary page |
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| when the lovers have gone |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|09:55 am] |
 After tossing and turning, then lying still first on one side then the other, trying deep breathing and reciting mantra, I conceded I was not going to sleep. I didn't feel anything. Except the still intensely sensitive nipples and penis and arse. I wanted to cry. I couldn't. I think if I could cry perhaps I could go to sleep. That was earlier this morning. In a way it's good. I brought in the laundry. I sorted out the pants I'm going to wear for the event this Friday. Although for the life of me I couldn't recall where I keep my dress shoes. I packed the knapsack. And for once, I managed to leave the house before 8 and missed the morning crowd. Only problem is I could clearly see the couples holding hands, hairs still wet from their morning shower. Swaying with the motion of the train, feeling the twinges of pain and pleasure still, recalling the intensity of our night together, finally I could feel the numbness thawing, finally I could feel tears filling my eyes. This, then, is goodbye to that. *** But as you said, although I couldn't have that, I'd have something better in its own way. "Passion fades. Friendship endures. When we're both old and had lost our libido and the lovers have gone away, we'd sit on wheelchairs, still chatting and exchanging confidences, side by side." I think I like that. I really really like that image you painted in my head. Thank yous. |
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| blahblahblah |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|02:54 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | miao. | ] |
Tues
=========
cabbied down Anchorpt where Andy Luminosita treated kopi @TCC
yay~`
oh yea, Jason Ubercrispy treated me lunchie at Nanbantei Japanese restaurant @far east the other day. the food's quite yummy-in-the-tummy
yay~`
took bus back to oppice and dropped off to find grandma since it was along the way.
grandma was playing mahjong, and i gave her marnee.
she was all smiles telling all her frens dat her grandson always visit her and give her marnee
yay~`
did paperwork @oppice till 10ish
Wed
========
played Shin Megami Tensei on nds.
see http://nds.gamezone.com/gzreviews/r37440.htm
it's not bad. i was followng the walkthrough on gamesfaq.com for a while but realised dat since it's replayable, i skipped the walkthrough thereafter.
i just realised that there's a mmorpg version @ http://megaten.aeriagames.com/
but mmorpg's my bane+career suicide, so i guess i'd just avoid it.
headed down town to meet another lawyer client. gah, superscale payroll
i really need to tidy up my house soon. paperwork's all over. sigh. |
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| blahblahblah |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|02:49 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| | okay | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | miao. | ] |
gah the kitty is so cute
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| blahblahblah |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|02:48 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| | okay | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | miao. | ] |
a secret hot gay sex scene in a game?
*gasp*
how unbecoming! :P |
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| Planning Ahead |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|01:35 am] |
As everyone around me begins to reveal their end-of-year plans for their holidays, the urge to just book something takes over. My last self-kidnapping attempt to Bangkok did not happen at all, which was really disappointing. It is but too much to ask anybody to just hop onto a plane with me in less than a week, and proved to be a lesson to remember - holiday trips, no matter how short they might be, still require time to plan and book.
My colleague asked me the question during our one-minute pantry-talk session - are you going away for the holidays? I was secretly whispering to myself "what holidays?" under my breath. Has everyone forgotten how we all nearly died over the last project submission? We have another one due on the 1st of March 2010, and it would be best to avoid the similar calamity by getting on with it already!
The moment December kicked in, I sensed the world around me spinning a lot slower. Even my bosses seem distant and slightly aloof. I would not say that I have been running on full steam lately, but at least it would be nice to keep a steady pace and a firmer grip on things in general. Or maybe I should just let the fruit cake take over and be all festive and jolly ho-ho-ho.
Going away at the end of the year? Computer says NO, but perhaps a short thing in early January. Keep your fingers crossed ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) yffar that I would pick up the courage to actually book something.
Meantime, it is time to start playing Christmasy songs on my iPod la! I so enjoy Christmas songs.
********** |
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