`'+ Bond Today +'´

Voice From Deep Beyond

2007-09-23T03:18:21Z

Voice From Deep Beyond
by Vincent Lai
Dedicated to Ef aka Baby.
1048H, 23 September 2007.
Pantai Hillpark.

the love was pure
the heart, even more
boy made his own fairy tale
thinking it was all good and real.

boy was loved so much, it was a steal
heavenly as he felt he went for the kill.
he is nothing compared to the ray of light
for the boy will just be a hanging kite,
with a string of hope
that it will be held close,
at both ends of the rope.

foolish as boy can be
but how devoted is he?
boy holds to his promise
hoping to bring back the kiss
wishing every hug is for real,
every feeling is to stay real.

he can't hope for more now
except for a tiny warmth and a little "meow"
that came natural before this
which gave boy so much bliss.

It's A Wrap!

2007-06-20T18:53:46Z

Steamed rice dumplings.
It was Dumpling Festival yesterday. Some call it Dragon Boat Festival. In Mandarin, it's called Duan Wu Jie (端午节). It's the fifth day of the fifth month in the lunar calendar, a day of commemorating the Chinese patriot and poet, Qu Yuan (屈原) who killed himself by jumping into the river to show his disappointment to the downfall of the Chu Dynasty he loyally supported during the Zhan Guo 战国 (Warring States) period. Traditionally, people would throw zong zi (粽子) or rice dumplings into rivers in hopes that the fish in the river would feed on these dumplings instead of the body of the fallen idol. These dumplings are usually consisting of rice wrapped in bamboo leaves stuffed with meat, beans, chestnuts, salted egg yolks and mushrooms.

Steamed rice dumplings.
Its arrival also almost instantly reminded me of the six months which have just gone by, and the uncertainty surrounding me which is yet to clear. Mum prepared the traditional zong zi that we have every year, just before my return from Singapore. She called and made sure I am coming back on Sunday so she wouldn't make too many. She'd usually stay up till late to prepare the ingredients. To ensure her efforts don't go wasted, I'd try to eat as many as I can to replace certain meals. For breakfast or for lunch.

Yes, you heard it right. I am staying put in KL. Less than two weeks ago, I made my way to Singapore, as quietly as I went missing from the blogosphere. To some people, it was almost as if I disappeared and they told me much later on that they checked this blog everyday as there were no other ways to reaching me because I left my phone at home when I left town for Penang. I was practically disconnected while I was there. Whilst away, I dropped every baggage I had off my shoulders, feeling light and carefree in those moments of solace.

As quickly as I decided to be away, I realised I must have a closure. I left Penang, back to KL and then headed my way to Singapore. A lot of my stuff were still there and even now, still is. That's how heavy my heart wanted to leave this place I have been so familiar with. My good friend, Dean offered; no, actually I asked him if I could bunk at his place during my stay in Singapore. I'm glad he agreed right away even though it was a last minute notice. No doubt others offered when they heard about my plans later but I count my blessings for Dean's hospitality. Both he and his flatmate were so accommodating, I felt so much warmth and I am so glad I have so many people behind my back. Thanks guys! You know I will never thank you all enough..

The Day My Room Is Mine Once More

2007-05-20T19:02:15Z

It’s Sunday, a week just went by; like sheets of paper you tear off the toilet roll when you realise you’ve reached the hard surface of the cardboard-tube. Or that very last cube of ice left in the freezer you tried to melt slowly in your mouth after finishing a bowl of spicy noodles soup; saving the last bit of relief. You wish for more.

Just imagine. An extension to Sunday, the 8th day of the week. A day between Sunday and Monday when you can continue doing things you are so passionate about that you feel so fulfilled that you are ready to face the new week. But alas, they normally happen when you fall into deep sleep, in a dream so rich and real; you wet your pants, you fall of bed, you cry, you laugh, you talk, you walk out of bed and you even drool.

* * *

My makeshift desktop in the room.
I was up in my own bed this bright morning, contented; happy. For a month, I gave in to mum’s request to let my brother who’s a year my junior have my room. Since I moved to Singapore, bro has sort of taken over my room and even installed a brand new air-conditioning unit before claiming it his own. All this while, no one told me about it. And coming back home, I was disoriented by such arrangement. At some point, I felt like I was living at some hotel, nothing felt permanent to me. The white and blue coloured room which had a little part of me in it is now something else. Part of the blue is plastered with images of him with other people. The table is cluttered with wiring and trinket of things. But I am thankful my books are untouched in the shelves. Some of the CDs are carelessly placed here and there.

My books in the shelf.
Grandma and her maid now live with us in our small apartment on weekdays. On Fridays, and sometimes on Saturdays, they return back to her place and then move back on Sunday night. They sleep in bro’s room. Since bro is so fastidious about sharing the space which belonged to me, I slept in the living room. Being the older son, I gave up feeling sorry for myself in this situation, and just live with it.

For two nights, he has been staying over at some mysterious person’s place or hotel. I am not going to privy into his personal matter. I camped back in my room. I can’t ask for more. Will enjoy it while it lasts and since I am expecting news to return back to Singapore this brand new week, I hope for the best.

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Room Full Of (n)You Thinks
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The One With The Food Poisoning

2007-05-13T09:17:11Z

The rain brought cheers to my otherwise vapid and warm afternoon, with not much entertainment except for that Korean movie about a kid and his love for his grandma and BBC's finest TV programme on cars, TOP GEAR. I cannot eat anything but bread and bread only thanks to the food poisoning episode.

Looking out from parents' apartment during a drizzling afternoon.
* * *
The patient sat on the hard bench cringed down, moaning in pain that was twisting in his tummy as his two cousin sisters stood helplessly, nervously watching and wondering what they were going to do.

Oblivious to some curious patrons to the mall passing by the scene, next to the BORDERS book store which is conveniently located next to the washroom, the patient almost cried out in the excruciating pain that came like giant waves of tsunami that hit almost every time he tried to relax. It was as if someone planted multiple punches in the gut and the shock that came with it felt like an elephant trampled on it. It was embarrassing to let the girls see the non-macho side of their cousin. In contrast to the earlier part of the evening at the escalator, Ee Won pressed his firm chest and commented, “Wow.. got muscles eh?”. No muscles no more now eh?

In the background, Carrin was calling her boyfriend for help on her mobile phone. “Jin, where are you? Vince is having a severe tummy ache, what to do?”

“Should we send him to the hospital?”

“Is there any clinic at The Curve?”

Ee Won sat next to the patient, tenderly and carefully rubbing his back with her hand. She bent forward to survey his condition and she saw his eyes wet in tears. The crunching pain was the worst he has ever experienced. Unrivalled by the gastric pains he used to have. He has never had food poisoning. Perhaps once or twice but never this bad.

* * *
Having Phad Thai, fried noodles, at some street market in Sutthisan, Bangkok.
He was perfectly well during his countless trips to Thailand. He never had stomach upsets when he had Phai Thais at some open street market in สถานีสุทธิสาร(Sutthisan). But he lost it to a family affair somewhere in Kuchai Lama. It was a pre-Mother’s Day steamboat and barbeque dinner with mum, grandma, Isabelle, brother and a bunch of relatives just the night before. On the two trays were a huge platter of seafood consisting of many kinds of shellfish, crabs, cod, prawns and various other meat.

“Was it an aftereffect of gluttony or a classic food poisoning?”

* * *
Carrin searched for the concierge at the ground floor and asked for the nearest clinic. A slow and difficult walk to the clinic at a higher floor led them to a quiet corridor next to a furniture shop and a darkened shop unit that left them in utter disappointment. The sign read - “Klinik Segara: CLOSED”. He sat on the floor, unable to tolerate the pain. By then he already called his parents to drive him to the clinic as he didn’t want to ruin his cousins' dinner plans as they had earlier intended. Carrin wanted treat them to a nice dinner.

With the help of one concierge attendant, they managed to get a wheelchair to whisk the patient down to the mall entrance to wait for his parents to come pick him up. The whole wheelchair ordeal felt like an exaggerated reaction to his condition but he couldn’t be bothered about the people looking at him as the pain took away the ego and he just wanted it to end.

Earlier the patient suggested to go to the IKEA furniture mall just nearby. While waiting at the entrance, Ee Won teased him to make him feel better to remind him less on the pain. “Why don’t we go to IKEA in this? It’s just there in front of us anyway!”

“He’s already in pain, you are joking some more.” Carrin snapped back at her insensitivity.

Actually, the patient was fortunate for his cousins were there for him, providing him the much needed comfort in the moment of distress. One experience he will never forget.

Once Upon A Time in Hong Kong: Kowloon City

2007-05-06T21:31:19Z

Blooming Life: Flowers blooming off an unidentified tree in Kowloon City.

I was feeling the dread of not having much to do at home, so I dug out my hard disk drive and chanced on pictures I took in March, two years ago during my 14-day holiday cum work with Ben in Hong Kong. I remembered an entry I wrote of my first day in Hong Kong and that was the last I wrote of the trip. I decided to do a series of entries based on the photos I took, like a photo journal. Not much on personal content but more focussed on the facts of the places I visited. This is the kickstart to "Once Upon A Time In..." Series of other cities I have been to in the past.

* * *Mention Kowloon, one might associate it with images of billboards lined along the streets of densed, cramped buildings. But that's Mong Kok; a shopping area in Kowloon that covers major roads like Nathan Road, Canton Road and Argyle Street.

Kowloon City Map (taken from DiscoverHongKong.com)
Kowloon itself is a territory made up of Kowloon Peninsula and New Kowloon that spans from the south of New Territories and the north of Hong Kong Island. The territory which encompasses 5 districts of Kowloon City, Kwun Tong, Sham Shui Po, Wong Tai Sin and Yau Tsim Mong, and Kowloon City (九龍城) which is situated in New Kowloon will be the feature for this entry.

What used to be a notorious and lawless place for crime and unscrupulous activities in this district was known as Kowloon Walled City (九龍城寨) where it got its name after the latter was torn down by the British and Chinese authorities under a joint declaration in 1984. Today, stands a park known as Kowloon Walled City Park (九龍寨城公園), an effort to preserve part of its heritage. Sounds like a mini version of The Forbidden City, except that this one had a big population and an infamous reputation to live up to.

Related Story:
HKG Trip Day 1: A Brush With KCR

Hati Yang Terusik

2007-04-29T20:06:54Z

I wrote a Malay poem tonight. Literally translated as "A Stirred Heart". Thought of sharing. I am going to extend this entry with its English equivalent in a few days' time. Maybe prior to that, someone would like to help come up with its translation. You can be creative, up to your interpretation.

* * *

A building somewhere in Seremban, Malaysia.

Hati Yang Terusik
by Vincent Lai

di celah-celah mindaku
terpautnya cebisan kata-katanya,
yang masih menyelubungi
fikiranku yang kusut.

aku lalai,
pintu hatiku yang lama tertutup,
tiba-tiba terbuka,
terusik oleh isi hatinya.

mentari yang menyinari kamar
seolah-olah mengasihaniku.
sinar bulan sabit yang lemah
bagaikan sindiran yang cemuh.

merana aku sehari
terusik aku sepanjang malam,
dicemari keluhan hati
di setiap pelusuk diri.

***

A Stirred Heart
by Vincent Lai
Translated into English from a Malay poem, "Hati Yang Terusik"
1354H, 30 April 2007.

between the corners of my mind
still bounded by traces of his words,
shrouding my clouded thoughts.

the careless me;
once a long closed heart,
its doors suddenly left ajar,
stirred by his innermost voice.

the rays of the sun
that made way into the chamber,
as if took pity on me.
that faint glow
of the moon crescent,
as if a laughing stock.

for a day I was in despair
the whole night disturbed I was,
poisoned by the sighs of the heart
that infected my every part.

What You Won't See In Malaysia

2007-04-26T13:07:55Z

Issue number sixteen, volume one-sixty-nine of the TIME magazine dated April 30, 2007 has many of its articles centred around the Virginia Tech massacre. The magazine's cover page which has been glitzed by the faces of celebrities and top figures around the world, is now a collage of smiling photos of victims killed by their fellow college mate on a 9-minute shooting rampage, Cho Seung-hui.

// Time.Com, April 30, 2007 Edition //
Flipping through the pages of the magazine, what caught my eye was neither of the pictures related to the massacre, nor the avant-garde architectural photos of some Düsseldorf buildings. They were what would have been stunning portraits of Hillary Swank, Scarlett Johansson and other actresses; that are ludicrously censored with a black marker. And these are not topless pictures; exposing breasts, nor of the actresses in skin-wrapping dresses that show the outline of their nipples, which those self-enforcing people always censor.

Turn to page 51. They are MERELY pictures of the beautiful actresses holding a cigarette or a cigar. Have we suddenly turned into little kids who can't already decide what's good for us? Should they now also censor pictures of ammunition or action figures holding a gun?

// Original Picture: Universal/Courtesy Everett Collection //
Such a laughing stock.

KLCC Revisited

2007-04-16T18:09:21Z

// One of the Petronas Twin Towers //

Last night, I had intended to join my group of former secondary school mates to the PC Fair at the KL Convention Centre but they were there so late that I took the time on my own to explore the area around Kuala Lumpur City Centre (KLCC). By the time they arrived, I lost the interest in going at all. Looi called and told me to meet them at the parking space below the convention centre. Asked to them to go ahead and to meet them at Kinokuniya bookshop when they are done. The exhibition hall was expected to be crowded and the idea of cramming up with thousands of other people did not appeal to me, and since I didn't have anything to buy anyway, it made sense not to be part of the madness.

// The photo of the KL Convention Centre didn't turn out well. Created an image art out of it instead //

Been a very long time I have not visited this part of KL. At least 6 months. I remember there was a time when Yuen and I picked up his group of Trinity College mates from the Isetan exit near the KLCC Park; they squeezed into my beige coloured, old Toyota Corolla. Along the way, a small branch fell on the car top with a "Thump!!" and Claire screamed and we ended up laughing till we reached the old Grand Central Railway Station. Such lovely memory!

A few days ago, Eddie lent me his digital camera. A Nikon COOLPIX 2100 he bought many years ago at some fair. His kind intention is greatly appreciated. He realised I have been quite demotivated by the recent hurdles in my life and knowing photography could perk up me up, he entrusted me with his little toy. Even though he said that the camera has been casted off aside, I do believe he uses it at times too. Such a sweet friend. Prepared me a simple lunch and got us a carrot cake from Marmalade, a contemporary restaurant inspired by modern French décor in Bangsar Village.

// Grand Entrance: A very inviting entrance to Suria KLCC, one of the premier shopping malls in KL //

// Juice Bar @ Suria: This could well be the most ostentatious food court juice bar. //

Ever since then, I did some shooting. Went to another town. And yeah, revisited KLCC.

Related Stories:
KL Sojourn: 23-30 May, 2006 [ Pt. I ]
Bridge Over The Towers
Twin Towers

Long Distance Relationships

2007-03-13T17:34:32Z

// Cousin Sister @ Bedok Jetty //
Came back from seeing my elder cousin sister, Wei Ling off for her flight to KL at Changi Airport. Might be the last time in two years I will be seeing her as she will be flying off to Cambodia this Friday where she will be based. She treated me to Fish & Co with the seafood platter for two order, and Caesar's salad with smoked salmon. For the first time, we talked on matters related to her family as usually we'd just have pep talks about work, travelling and general things. I briefly questioned her on her boyfriend's thought of her going away for that long. I mean, I can not imagine being away from someone I love for that long and pardon the cold feet for some, I had been in a long distance relationship and it was quite a challenge. And I am not the first who asked her that. She didn't really give me an explanation, but I think she will be fine. Long distance relationship pursuers out there, be strong for love!

// Cousin Sister @ East Coast Beach //

Wei Ling appreciated the time I spent with her throughout her stay in Singapore. Even though I didn't meet her everyday, at least I tried bringing her around trying out different Singapore food. I believe I managed to convince her that the food here is not that bad. Singapore is not just about shopping, as she realised that there are nice places around, such as the previous Sunday, I brought her to the East Coast Park where we went cycling for 2 hours, all the way to the Safra Resort near Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal. Just as she waved at me after clearing the immigration checkpoint, I gave her a faint smile and waved back, pacing my steps slowly and finally walked down to the bus stop. I'm going to miss those short rendezvous with her. Those are the only time I ever converse in full fledge Hokkien dialect in the 2 years of my stay in Singapore.

Tomorrow is a new chapter in my life. After a hiatus from work, I'm finally starting the training with my new company. And I have a LJ friend for a colleague. How interesting that is gonna be?!

KL Sojourn: 16 - 24 February, 2007 [ Malacca Detour Pt. 2/2 ]

2007-03-01T10:50:08Z

// Trishaw Man In The Rain, Car Window Screen //

"It rained in Malacca!", just when I was thinking about the sunny days in KL and Malacca, amidst the rain which seems never ending here in Singapore, ever since I came back late Saturday night. It's still drizzling here and I believe it never stopped since yesterday morning. It was drizzling when I met up with my cousin sister who arrived last night. She just got posted 2 weeks here with a Singapore textile company for training before she flies off to Phnom Penh, Cambodia where she will be based for 2 years doing accounting. 4 years my senior, she's adventurous enough to take up the challenge of roughing it up in the land of Khmers, considering the political situation there hasn't been that smooth.

While walking to the bus stop near the hotel my cousin is placed, flashbacks of my Malacca trip returned as the soft drops of rain fell on my bare flesh. It reminded me of the trishaw man who rode past the car Looi and I were in, later in the evening of our day in Malacca, when it was still raining. I remember Looi said to me, "Life is tough for them". Having to weather the sun and even the rain just to make pennies out of the tourism industry, life definitely doesn't come easy for them trishaw men. They put in quite an effort in decorating their trishaws to attract tourists who are these days, usually, visibly Asians. The Caucasian ones have gotten wiser and would rather be on foot. One way to avoid tourist traps eh?

// The Trishaw Men in Malacca //
Many hours before the rain, the group comprising myself, Looi, neuy and totoro2006 did have a swell time. After the chicken rice ball lunch, we didn't have a specific plan on what to do next. Since Looi had his girls to meet, we decided to go separate ways. I was half as tempted to just follow neuy and totoro2006 and walk around town but my gut instinct just asked me to stay with Looi and meet his girls. We decided to meet some time later where we can gather and leave for neuy's place to visit his family since I already brought gift bag of sorts.

On the way to Dataran Palawan (which literally means Hero Square in Malay) to meet Catherine, I was thinking if I should stick with Looi and Catherine for a little while, and then excuse myself to meet neuy and totoro2006. Exchanged some messages with neuy and he suggested me to sneak out to Mahkota Parade (a shopping mall next to Dataran Palawan) to meet them. Finally I asked them to join us at the mall in Dataran Palawan.

Struggling to find a parking space around the area, Looi and I then moved on to parking at the indoor parking of the mall in Dataran Palawan. Surprisingly, they just have one floor space for parking, which I think will be inadequate when this newly opened mall starts to attract more people. Bad building plan but it's the most decent mall in Malacca at the moment.

Before the arrival of neuy and totoro2006, we picked Starbucks as the more convenient, less pressuring joint to rest our bottoms, and have a cuppa to warm up to one another. Starbucks and other cafés alike would not just not be bothered if we sat down there for hours as compared to the other kind which literally takes the the term "fast moving consumer goods (beverage)" seriously. The chains like this expect you to order right away, finish your drinks/food in record times and clear for new patrons. Or we have impatient patrons standing around you, expecting you to leave anytime soon.

// Looi and Catherine @ Starbucks, Dataran Palawan //
Catherine was quite a sport! She is fun, and seemed to be a been-there-done-it kind of girl. She was like commenting on how crazy it must be for Looi to drive all the day to Malacca. But along way, we sort of have more than one reasons to visit with each of us having our own motive. I for instance, have never been there since 2005, and it'd be such a pity to miss neuy for the whole of this year.

Less than an hour into the chat with Looi and Catherine, I got a message from neuy and he asked to meet up outside Starbucks. I excused myself from the two, and walked to the fountain next to the premise and saw both neuy and totoro2006 frolicking like little girls in the water. Kidding. They were actually quite conservatively seated by the fountain and told me it would be intimidating for a girl to be surrounded by 4 guys to which I agreed. I went back to the table to finish my hot chocolate and gave them a I-will-see-you-two-shortly-to-walk-around-with-my-other-two-friends notice.

// 3 Of Us, Dataran Palawan Outer Concourse //
Briefly, the three of us walked around the mall and got bored, so we decided to get out and take a walk, before passing by a nice pavillion at the outer concourse with many Chinese decoration where we hung around to take pictures. Much to our delight, the closest exit to that concourse led us to one of the main tourist attractions; Fort A Famosa.

// Fort A Famosa, Malacca; side view //

// Us, in various poses at Fort A Famosa, Malacca //
When you are enjoying yourself so much, time tend to slip by so fast. That was exactly how we felt. We went around the vicinity taking loads of pictures and making fun of ourselves in front of the camera. And bumped into people totoro2006 knows which leads to a phrase, "Life is full of coincidences". The world is so small. Be prepared to meet people you don't want to see. And be ready to fall in love all over again. "Such is life!"

// 3 Of Us, Fort A Famosa, Malacca //
I have decided that there's going to be a Part Three to this as I realise there are so many pictures to post and too much time is spent on resizing and making them look pretty. So the continuation of this trip will have to resume in the next part.

KL Sojourn: 16 - 24 February, 2007 [ Malacca Detour Pt. 1/2 ]

2007-02-27T16:27:24Z

Looking out of my room window instantly returned cheers to my otherwise ruined earlier half of the day as I received some unpleasant text messages and missed calls from the 22-year old Thai I used to go out with, and having had to spend more money to replace some parts of my laptop which malfunctioned. Never mind them, browsing the pictures my friends sent me not too long ago brought back the nostalgia of my recent trip once again.

// The window view from my room this evening //
The peak of the trip back to my hometown of KL, Malaysia was achieved in a single day in Malacca; a town I'm less than familiar, a richly historical place no less. It was a pep talk with my best friend, Looi whom I have known since we were 7 which brought us to this growing town just one and a half hours drive away from the city of Kuala Lumpur. Monday night, on the second day of the Lunar New Year, Looi was grumbling about his boredom at home and how it got to a point where chatting and working on his MBA assignment were the only ways to pass time. A couple of days earlier, he was suggesting that we drove somewhere out of the city; like Ipoh, Georgetown or even, Segamat. There I was, suddenly thought of an idea of visiting my other best friend, neuy stuck in his hometown. And seizing the opportunity to visit the town of Malacca since my last trip there, way back in 2005, I talked Looi into going there instead, over other far flung choices.

I called neuy the next day, in the morning before we left KL to relay the news he was delighted to hear. Actually, I sort of told him about the possibility of the visit the night before, when I was still in the middle of selling the idea to Looi. So I suppose it didn't come as a surprise.

Waiting for Looi to get ready and when he finally reached my place, I asked him to our place because mum prepared tang yuen, which is a kind of dessert; flour balls with either red bean paste, sesame paste or peanut fillings in sweet, ginger soup. I asked mum to help prepare a bag of goodies (usually containing Mandarin oranges; which symbolise good luck, and other food stuff) as a visiting gift for neuy's family.

We had a good start to the journey down south on the North-South highway with smooth traffic all the way in contrast to the opposite side of the road with occasional crawl. Could be the city folks returning back to KL from their hometown. Along the way, Looi, albeit with the driving, cannot but help texting his girl friends in Malacca, wondering if they were available with my help on the keys. He entrusted me with those deeds.

Finally we reached the Ayer Keroh Exit, which led to a mild traffic jam after the toll. I called neuy to confirm the place of meeting which quaintly is a little hawker place next to Hotel Grand Continental, that only comes alive a night. Upon reaching there, we were introduced to totoro2006. I had no idea neuy was planning on bringing a guest. Nevertheless it was a good surprise. Actually totoro2006 was there to visit our celebrated graduate from Dublin too and he turns out to be quite entertaining and accommodating. That, together with the goofy nature of Looi got us all acquainted quite effortlessly.

We were headed for lunch, momentarily reminded by the rumbling noises of our tummy. While Looi and totoro2006 were behind the wheels with neuy in the latter's car, while I in Looi's, I called up neuy on his mobile in a smatter of German and English as I was intrigued to find out more about his "new friend", to which I found out later on they got to know each other for some time already.

We parked our cars at this little plot near the old wharf by the Malacca River. 3 ringgit for a day's parking seems pretty reasonable but it won't be pleasant when we get back to our seats later on with the scorching sun on the bare car tops. We stopped by this dessert shop not far away, supposedly good according to the guys. Was my first time trying out the cendol (a dessert rich in palm sugar) there and we collectively agreed that we have to try that first! Having no expectations to its reputation, and since the day was o' too hot to be too fussy, I suppose it tasted great. Having said that, however, I have tried a better one in Penang.

// The many faces of neuy //
Moving on for lunch, after a short debate over which chicken rice shop to pick, we finally agreed on Hoe Kee Chicken Rice Restaurant situated near Heeren House, at 4 Jonkers Walk. The night before, guynxtdoor recommended the very same one. We've decided that the one with the longer queue gets our vote. And so there we went queuing up for our share of the famed chicken rice ball. Wondering how it got its name? Well, apparently someone decided to be funny and rather than serving rice from a bowl, they rolled it the size and shape of ping pong balls. While queing up, I was treated to a display of verbal attacks from the newly formed duo of Looi and neuy. They make good partners in crime, said neuy but I was willingly being the subject of all the bitching as it's rare for my two best buddies, myself and totoro2006 to come together, in of all places, Malacca.

// Looi, constantly on the phone //

// What's left on the table //

// Us in Pairs //

The Innocence Of Youth

2007-02-16T07:20:05Z

Wrote another photo-accompanying poem for my friend again after a lapse of one week he asked me to write it. Like a collaboration kind of work. I tend to have this habit of procrastinating when I'm not inspired right away. But today, the inspiration is back. Must be the kid in me coming out, as I'm heading back home to KL for the Lunar New Year celebration with my family and friends there. HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR everyone!

* * *

The Innocence Of Youth
by Vincent Lai

The eyes, the nose, the mouth
the facial lines of expression
the embodiment to human emotions.

the child clasping to his mum
as his eyes wander innocently
amidst the shambles of his hut.

the purest nature of expression
only a child can own up to
for he never hides from his basic right;
his feelings.

the child can ignore the pains of truth
and be just contented, be secured
in the embrace of his beloved.

that life is a beauty
we can live witnessing and embracing
the innocence of youth all over again.

Swedish Sausation

2007-02-12T07:33:27Z

TOP [Cover of Danny Saucedo's single, TOKYO]
BOTTOM [Photo by David Bicho courtesy of DANNYSAUCEDO.SE]

Barely 21. Fresh from the Swedish singing talent programme, Idol 2006, Daniel Gabriel Alessandro Saucedo Grzechowski; born to a Bolivian mother and a Polish father is officially known as Danny Saucedo but fondly referred to as just Danny, is an up and coming singing sensation from Sweden. His latest single, Tokyo is already knocking on the local radio charts there. Although he's the sixth person to be voted out in the finalé of the last Idol, Danny Saucedo is not to be struck off the list just yet for he is just a victim of a popularity voting system. Watching him perform on soul and R&B songs in fan videos on YouTube, you cannot help but notice the maturity in his presentation and brilliantly executed notes of this young star.

Danny's early exposure to choir singing at age 5 and having started a band at age 16 must have prepped him for this but hey, even if you trained for years, and not confident to perform on stage, then that's not idol material eh? Having said that, talent alone does not ensure success without the confidence and one failure should not be the end of the road to success. I'm sure someone from the recording company saw something really great in him and that would not have been what it is today had he took it hard on himself when he was out of the competition.

Facts aside, I'm raving on his new single, Tokyo which is quite different from the selection of songs he picked to sing in his Idol race. This pop song grows on you, that you can't help but dance to it. Admittedly, it is quite cheesy with the lyrics, but it's a dance track and so it can afford to be just that. Some day, maybe Paul Van Dyk may spin on it and who knows some other DJs might make it an even bigger hit. It could well be a gym class song to groove your steps on.

This young man has lots of potential and given the time, he's gonna be it. Interestingly, some fans claim he's gay and they are probably right. His Tokyo cover has this rainbow-ish pop art vibe drawn all over and his image does quite reflect him so. But heck, who cares right?! He's young and bright, the whole world should just have their fingers crossed and see.

The Back Of Things

2007-02-07T19:54:26Z

Perhaps it is too difficult to interpret. But these are the very words that came out of my head and reflected my momentary emotions. Some friends told me my poems are too cryptic to understand. Maybe I don't want to be understood, just heard. Perhaps the accompanying picture which I shot a couple of days ago at some back alley in Chinatown will speak more than the poem itself.

* * *

The Back Seat
by Vincent Lai

Behind the winged rider
thrilled he is not.
Behind the vexed heart
the pillion rider aches inside.

As if so much in common
they prided.
As if so much in vain
they tried.

Tonight an idiot he was called;
in the spur of an activity.
Tonight he became someone else;
from whom he was a dear one.

As if so much there was
it becomes insignificant.
As if so much there is
it is now a void.

Behind the eyes of his
the light dims.
Behind the mind of his
he wants to put behind.

As if the storm is gone
there is now a dry spell.
As if the war is over
there is now a looming threat.

Behold Beauty!

2007-02-05T21:11:04Z

Wrote a poem for a friend who requested for it to go with a photo he took of a pink rose, posted on his Flickr site. To maintain discretion, I will not feature his full name. He asked only to use his moniker, EKoan.

* * *

Behold Beauty!
by Vincent Lai

Behold the petals of joy
in the caressing light,
humbled by the drops of character
they bloom into a subject of beauty.

Me, My Music & Ciggy

2007-02-02T10:08:49Z

Don't know about you but whenever I am down, lonely, cold, or feel absolutely helpless; I always turn to music and my Ciggy. Kidding, I don't smoke. But the writer of the song I'm going to introduce does, it seems.

My all-time favourite alternative band, from Sweden, KENT has been a Scandinavian success but listeners from this region are not so familiar with. The lead vocalist and the brain behind music writing of this band's songs, Joakim Berg is brilliant and is quite an influence, working behind the scenes of several prominent big-names outside of Sweden.

I find, in moments of solitary, albeit being neither good with the Swedish language nor gifted in it, I could relate to the sweetness of the Socker (sugar) song or the dark and morbid sounds from their last album, Jag & Du Döden (Me & You, Death).

In many instances, even in the warmth by the fire, your heart could feel so cold, so horribly lonely that no sex can heal it, no talk can bring you out of it, no friends can cheer you up no matter how much they try, nothing.

At times like this, only that dear person, one who sees the real you, the inside of you, the one person different from the rest can be the miracle drug healing you from the madness of the world, rescuing you from the depths of loneliness and being the music you want to hear.

At the end of the day, that dear one might well just be you. Yourself.

* * *

Below, is a loosely interpreted English text of the lyrics of the song, Hur Jag Fick Dig Att Älska Mig (How I Made You Love Me) from KENT's Vapen & Ammunition (Weapon & Ammunition) album.

Hur Jag Fick Dig Att Älska Mig
(How I Made You Love Me)
Lyrics and music in Swedish by Joakim Berg

The cold became my friend
my excuse to hide again
in the music
and ciggy became my bro

When you found me sitting helpless
at a table
I had just fallen
into a perplexing world.

You came to my rescue
so unbelievably great,
you want to be mine. ||reprise||

You were never afraid
of those who treated me like thrash
You are the music
and ciggy, it understood
when I was speechless
without words
when I hesitated
when I couldn't believe
that I have something
so unbelievably great,
you want to be mine. ||reprise||

A miracle that you see me
and you continue to see me
A miracle that you see me
as someone who can provide
that makes you want to be mine
you want to be mine. ||reprise||

•~ By Vincent Lai. ~•
17.33H, 2nd day of February 2007.
Old Airport Road.

Wake Up And Smell The Reality

2006-06-28T14:32:07Z

Wake Up And Smell The Reality
by Vincent Lai

Some people say,
"Time heals it all"
But you,
you just see stars;
hiding behind the grey,
when it's so clearly
black and white.

It's time,
time to rise
from the shades of blue,
time to embrace
the red, green or yellow,
the hues of life
that was once you.

Wake up
and smell the reality
Stop clinging on to the loss,
stop chasing the wind
and start walking
This path is yours,
and yours only.

// For the lost souls out there //

I Am But A Fiction

2006-06-03T17:19:57Z

"my door is wide open, with a warm glass of milk in hand, a cosy quilt and bed ready for that someone who accepts all of me"
by Vincent Lai

KL Sojourn: 23-30 May, 2006 [ Pt. I ]

2006-05-29T11:40:26Z

Weeks prior to travelling up to KL from Singapore, I was excited and so looking forward to seeing my family and friends again. I missed home cooked meals, the rush of driving on a straight road with cars nowhere to be seen on a late night, the voice of mum giving the maid a morning lecture when I wake up, grandma's laughing and my jostling with her whenever I try to stuff some money in her pocket which she always refuse but I never failed to let her keep it. These have always been my joie de vivre for the past 11 months of my stay in Singapore.

A year is almost quickly getting by and this July 4th, which coincidentally is the US Independence Day, my work contract ends and it's time for me to move on to some other job, or stay permanently with the current job till I find a new one, or go elsewhere. It's not that I have not tried, but I have not been trying hard enough. I seem to be constantly out of focus. That explains why I never posted much here anymore. I have tonnes of things in my mind but there's just no way I could arrange the details and solve them bit by bit. Perhaps I am burning out, or perhaps I am just worrying too much. Anyway, I decided one day that I will go up to KL for a longer period of time. To unwind, to catch up with old times, whatever. Also, I wanted to coincide with the arrival of my best friend, neuy who is in Malaysia for a short period of time before he goes back to Dublin for his convocation and later on proceed with his training and work. He has been so sweet to leave his home in Malacca just to catch up with the rest of us in KL.

The first day of my arrival was another coincidence because I was in the same coach as neuy's friend, Damien whom I didn't know at that time but neuy told me about that the night before and I asked him to pass him my contact if he wants since we were gonna meet anyway when we arrive. Halfway during the journey at this stop in Pagoh, Malacca, Damien came to my seat and introduced himself. I stood up and shook hands with him and we chatted a little. Approximately 1437H, the coach arrived at Bangsar LRT station where neuy, all sweaty in his yellow T was already patiently waiting there, looking up the window through his glasses looking for us. Walking towards him with Damien trailing behind, I noticed that neuy has lost some weight. Must be those nights before exams. We talked for a bit before parting ways on different sides of the LRT station but not before encountering the first Malaysian dysfunctionality; the train ticketing machine. Either they don't accept notes or the touch screen display refuse to recognise our fingers. Travellers to KL should have spare coins with them at all times. At least RM2.00 worth. When that didn't work, we walked to the customer service counter to purchase our tickets. With that, puts KL right behind Bangkok and Singapore.

The journey to the Asia Jaya LRT station where dad picked me up was spent with calling some close friends to say HI (sorry if I missed anyone) and observing the people in the train. So soon I spotted the second Malaysian dysfunctionality; bad maintenance of public properties. One of which is the condition of the train interior. The floor and the walls, probably being scarred by the many advertisement laid on them over and over again for the last 6 or more years. It seems like no one is taking heed of the ailing trains. Really sad, what would have been the pride of the country could well be the laughing stock of others. Imagine what will the tourists think. If I am not mistaken, the government has recently taken over the management of the public trains. So I hope they are aware of these, and not just sat in their Mercedes, Perdanas and other executive commercial vehicles.

I was soon home after dad drove me to grandma's house to pick up my car which I drove around during the entire trip. I rang up neuy and told him we will be hanging out around KL for the rest of the evening. Bowling was one of the highlights. I was on my way out when I realised that that those two fellas might need some time to settle down so I called up my cousin because I wanted to borrow his SONY Cybershot M1 so I could shoot around till the end of my trip. On the way to Cheras, where neuy's parents' apartment is I was trying to remember the routes there as it has been ages since I was in that area. 2 years are such a long time but in the end I made it there but not without making a wrong entry into the wrong apartment next to his.

Arriving in Midvalley after a long drive, we walked and ended up at the basement of the mall, a foodies' haven! Fast food restaurants, Japanese franchise, bakeries, a hypermarket; really, most of the things you can think of. I saw the money changer that I normally go to just a few steps away from the escalator so I went there to trade off some of the Singapore dollars. RM2.29 to a dollar, best rate in town! Since they couldn't decide what to eat, I suggested MPH, since I wanted to get some magazines. Since TIME magazine and Newsweek are almost twice as expensive in Singapore than in KL so I thought, why not wait a couple of days more and get them here.

neuy received a call from his friends from Uni and not long after that, we drove off to Chinatown, or locally known in Cantonese as chee cheong gai, to meet them. While waiting, we went looking for my favourite beef noodles stall but they are not open so we walked through the streets, wandering and taking pictures and videos which I later posted on YouTube. Just before neuy's friends arrived, I proposed to the guys to wait at McDonald's since Damien was thinking of having a Sundae earlier. Unfortunately, they don't have it.

When the trio of Grace, William and Morgan arrived, we greeted them just outside at the sheltered walkway aligned by peddlers of all kinds. They have on sale whatever leather and watch brands you can imagine but they are not those off the shelves type of products you see at Gucci, Prada or Rolex boutiques. If you're thinking of getting them at RM50.00 or less, here's the place to go but I think the ones in Thailand are of much finer worksmanship! As the night wither away, chatting, having dinner around that area and finally bidding farewell to neuy's friends, we whisked off to Berjaya Times Square to rendezvous with Gordon Tan before looking for the bowling place in Sungei Wang Plaza.

I parked at Sungei Wang Plaza, because I knew they had this parking rebate for bowlers. We decided to just hop over to Times Square just across the road just a block away to meet Gordon. Walking towards Starbucks, I noticed how the café al fresco culture has changed. Wireless broadband is encouraging people to leave their homes and still be connected to the world. And privacy is no longer much of their concern. I mean, I saw some people surfing sites with contents you don't want others to associate you with. Then again, it's not a big deal. The brief encounter with Gordon soon found us roaming around Bukit Bintang area after we realised the bowling place is under construction. Eventually, we ended up in the 24-hour McDonald's just around the cross junction near Lot 10, all sleepy and tired. The two blokes settled for more savoury stuff while I went for an iced Milo. I forgot if Damien finally got his sundae that night but that first day in KL was a treat anyway!

S$14.00 Kissing Session

2006-05-18T19:18:58Z

You only need to pay 14 bucks to kiss in front of Tom Cruise and Maggie Q.

I was mentally prepared for an exciting film this evening but little did I expect that I'd be blessed with not one but two dramas unfolded right before my very eyes. Complete with lips-sucking sound effect to orchestrate the rest of the performance. So I thought that Gavin and I would have a comfortable view from a priviledged last row to optimise our movie experience. I had this troubling gut instinct when I sat before this dark-skinned couple, presumedly, ethnically Indian; the guy was wrapped around the girl like they were inseparable. How loving, I thought as I looked at them with a dash of envy.

Mission Impossible 3 started out bold with Tom Cruise playing Ethan Hunt, clutched to a seat threatened by his villain pointing the gun to his wife's head in scene number one. How I wished those two in front were put to test like that! Would these 2 subjects sacrifice themselves trying to save the other? Judging from back to back intensed kissing and skillful manoeuvre of positions by the female subject on the male subject, I might say yes. But wait, the drama didn't just revolve around kissing. They must make their money's worth and ours by putting up another act. It's called I-need-to-go-fix-my-fanny business. Or, I-need-to-fix-my-willy episode. How brilliant! Twice in the middle of a thrilling Zhen aka Maggie Q does Ferrari scene.

By the time the movie credits came up, they finally realised, "Oh, those two behind saw us do all that?".

So Much Love Around, So Little To Reciprocate

2006-03-26T21:21:01Z

There are times when you thought you were ready and things just never seem to work out the way you want them to.
At other times when you are just not ready and everything just pours in like a burst dam.

"Why such irony?"
* * *
When in doubt, we tend to ask people wiser than us for answers. For guidance. More often than not, they won't give them away. It's comforting, yes, to have someone to listen to all your problems. At the end of it, they give in, and ask you to try this and that.
"Such standards eh?!"

When your mind is at its clearest and when you thought you have conquered the world, you often question the impossible. That's when problems arise, when clearly, you will utterly lose your balance risking to find answers you may not be pleased with.
"Thought so, no?"

These implications, with such wide profounding notions are related. And usually, they deal with matters at heart.

You'd hate to swallow the idea of a long distance relationship based on trust and faith, which by far was all too perfect until you take away the distance.
You'd dismiss petty problems until they got blown out of proportion and then you realised, "It's too late".
You'd listened to your friends telling you what not to do, and then regretted that it wasn't modelled for you.
* * *
Do people who treat you well have personal agendas in their heads?

Waking Up Around The Corner Of A Dream

2006-02-03T05:47:12Z

A mynah (I think) looking curious on the greens, Teck Lim Road. Jan 2006

Waking Up Around The Corner Of A Dream
by Vincent Lai

Per Gessle and Helena Josefsson did a duet in their Feb 1, 2006 Swedish-release-only single;
Hey Mr DJ (Won't You Play Another Love Song)
"it could happen to anyone
anyone, to anyone
wakin’ up around the corner of a dream
gaze with one eye
yearn to fly
an endless high
a butterfly
realize it’s hardly how it seems"

and it hit me that day!
It's an end to the 1.5-year relationship
but not the end of a brand new one we are about to embark on.
Nothing romantic, yet nothing short of special.
After all, we have known each other for that long,
so it doesn't just end. It doesn't have a full stop.

I remember that night, I played the memories over and over again
like a winding musical box left to play till it breaks.
I tried to cry, but only to shed tears
one after another
as every drop crept into my follicle
sucked into every awakening pore
leaving only moisture on my face.

On the night of our closure
after the plesio-never-ending talk
I cried really hard.
It finally came.

The Agonising Fears

2006-01-21T17:57:05Z

A decaying block along an alleyway near Everton Road. Jan 2006

The Agonising Fears
by Vincent Lai

Winter rain
shed its cold, temporal pain;
nature does its wonders all over again.

The sun,
its brief, monogamous warmth;
we crave daylight like it's never here.

At a time,
unabated by the passing phase;
I stand through a rush of hopes.

Spring
of hopes and fears,
I'm undecided and scared!

Turning 26

2006-01-17T18:05:39Z

It's here. I'm so happy some of my good friends remembered. I apologise I haven't been able to catch up with you guys for ages. I have recently moved to a new place for the second time. I am already missing the east of Singapore. Marine Parade is such a great neighbourhood to live in. And difficult to find an affordable place to rent there too. Nevertheless, I have to live somewhere close to work sites. In the end, I settled for Spottiswoode Park area. Quite a quaint but pleasant neighbourhood, which I realised after a week living here. Being so close to Chinatown, food is never a problem. Hope to do features on this area in the near future.

Featured with this entry is my most recent picture taken 2 months ago on a cycling trip in Pulau Ubin. To commemorate my 26th birthday, I attempted on a haiku entitled "Turning 26". It may not even be haiku because I'm not familiar with the haiku format at all. Pardon my ignorance. Take it with a pinch of salt. Feedbacks are welcomed :)

Turning 26
by Vincent Lai

In bed,
resting, counting, far away
from hometown.

6-month old clock,
a faithful wake-up buddy
through time, telling time.

Bed full,
of cards and papers,
reminisces of work and kin.

Trusting black wallet,
of receipts and notes,
heaps of vice and kind.

A lit tealight,
just burning the last strides
of the last hour.

The darkened screen
of cellphone,
moments from flashing reminders of age.

Up on the ceiling,
I looked,
churning fantasies of bright future.

Cool air,
blowing in the new room
now my home.

Christmas Greeting Came Early

2005-12-10T17:44:16Z

Came home from work today totally exhausted and drained. Simon, my Singaporean flatmate was lying on the couch and just as I greeted him, he brought good news.

"Vince, you've got mail!" Simon exclaimed in a more cheerful than yesterday's expression.

It's my last month staying in this flat. I have to move by end of the month. I've had 4 wonderful months here. It's such a pity this place has to be returned to the owners at the end of the lease. All of us have to move before 15 Jan, but I chose to move earlier. Simon, the main tenant has found a place in Yishun. Karen, my other flatmate has moved a month earlier just before her month long holiday in Taiwan. I don't know about James, though.

Nested with mails of others' is a square sized white envelope with a 47p postmarked stamp, which felt a little thicker than the rest. It's an early Christmas card from a good friend. At the bottom left hand corner of the card is his signature paw print. I smiled a bit reading the message and, from the tone and the strokes of his handwriting I could tell he was really looking forward to the coming year.

"Dearest Vincent, here is to you having a very Merry Christmas & a fantastic New Year =) And it's the year of the Woofie too! Woohoo!"

I'm really grateful receiving his card today. It made me extra happier than the other days of the week. Thanks Woofie!

I have some surprises prepared for my friends who gave me their addresses. I hope I can get them sent before Christmas. Hope those surprises bring fond memories.